Lack of Sex will Cost Ya

Beware if the mood has left the marriage, at least in France! A judge in France has ruled that a 51-year-old man must pay his 47-year-old ex-wife damages for failing to fulfill her sexual needs for 21 years.

The Telegraph reports that a man from Nice, in southern France, known in court as Jean-Louis B., must pay his wife 10,000 euros — or $13,965 — to compensate for a “lack of sex over 21 years of marriage.”

The man was fined under section 215 of France’s civil code, which says married couples agree to a “shared communal life.”

He argued he was often tired and had health problems that prevented him from being sexually active with his ex, but the judge decreed: “A sexual relationship between husband and wife is the expression of affection they have for each other, and in this case it was absent.”

The ruling comes two years after a judge deemed the man solely responsible for the couple’s divorce because of his refusal to have sex with his wife.

This Guy is a Total Jerk Off

In more ways than one!

A judge ordered a California man — convicted for ejaculating into a co-worker’s water bottles — to pay more than $27,000 to his victim.

Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm said Monday Michael Kevin Lallana, of Fullerton, Calif., must pay restitution for therapy and loss of wages, reports the Orange County Register.

Lallana was sentenced to 180 days behind bars after he was convicted of twice putting semen in his co-worker’s water bottle without her knowledge at a Newport Beach, Calif., financial company last year.

The victim sent the water bottle in for testing because it tasted strange, and the water was found to contain semen.

The jury found Lallana, 32, committed the acts for sexual gratification.

He should be committed to a freak’in hospital!

Dude Looks Pretty Good for Being 500 Years Old

The arrest of an American man who broke into a woman’s house and tried to suck her blood over the weekend has sparked discussion about the impact of vampire books and movies on U.S. youth culture.

Whether pop culture played a role in the attack remains to be seen, as 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley awaits a psychiatric evaluation in jail on burglary charges in Galveston, Texas.

Found growling and hissing in a parking lot and wearing only boxer shorts, the pierced and tattooed Bensley claimed he was a 500-year-old vampire who needed to “feed,” Galveston Police Capt. Jeff Heyse said.

Vampires have been a focal point of literature since Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula”. But fascination, particularly among young people, has peaked in recent years with the popularity of the “Twilight” books about teenage vampires and the television series, “True Blood.”

Just a screw-ball in my humble opinion.