A Million Ain’t What it Used to Be!

More than four out of ten American millionaires say they do not feel rich. Indeed many would need to have at least $7.5 million in order to feel they were truly rich, according to a Fidelity Investments survey.

Some 42 percent of the more than 1,000 millionaires surveyed by Fidelity said they did not feel wealthy. Respondents had at least $1 million in investable assets, excluding any real estate or retirement accounts.

“Every person in the survey is wealthy,” said Sanjiv Mirchandani, president of National Financial, a unit of Fidelity. “But they are still worried about outliving their assets.”

The average age of respondents was 56 years old with a mean of $3.5 million of investable assets. The threshold for “rich” rose with age.

“They compare themselves to their peer group … and they are also thinking about the long period they will have in retirement and want more assets” to fund their lifestyle, said Michael Durbin, president of Fidelity Institutional Wealth Services.

Still, millionaires are slightly more optimistic now than they were in 2009, when 46 percent did not feel wealthy.

Respondents were also more optimistic about the U.S. economy. While they thought the current U.S. economy remained very weak, they think it will improve by the end of this year.  I would still feel rich with a cool million in the bank!

Chavez Might Be Crazy!

Any on the topic of very strange quotes comes one from Hugo!

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.

“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.  At least he is smart enough to be willing to admit there might be life on other planet?

Dumb Move by Cop in India

This story is pretty stupid so I will just show a few sentences.

A policeman in India was recovering in hospital after he shot himself in a misguided attempt to win a bravery award, media reports said.

He claimed the men sped away in a car after the supposed attack on Sunday night.

Police said all the empty cartridges found at the scene belonged to Rajguru’s gun and that they had also found narcotic drugs in his living quarters.

Wow this guy is pretty dumb!

I Always Thought Beiber was Pretty

And here is the proof.

Is Drug Addiction New?

I think not, just illegal! More vintage ad fun.

Really Bad Idea

This is not a great place to catch a quick nap!

Crazy Ad

Unbelievable vintage ad!

Green Invention Fail

My friends over at Green Vehicle Disposal sent me this one, total fail!

The Cupcake or Your Life!

Now this woman has a serious sugar addiction!

A woman in South Wales ravaged a bakery upon learning they were out of her favourite cupcakes, according to British media reports.

The shop’s owner, Sally Dodd, 43, told the U.K. Daily Mail the woman threw herself on the floor “ranting and raving” when she found out they were out of the popular “sweet tooth fairy” cupcakes.

“The woman went absolutely ballistic when she was told we didn’t have the cupcake flavour she wanted,” Dodd told the British tabloid. “She didn’t even wait for us to tell her that if she waited we could bake some fresh cupcakes for her.”

The woman reportedly ran around the counter, grabbed Dodd by the hair, and proceeded to smash all the glass display units, causing more than in $600 damage.

“You expect a certain amount of risk running a bar or a pub but not in a cupcake shop,” said Dodd.

Police are hoping video surveillance footage will help them find the culprit.

The Police Thunked She Was Dead

A little more training might be needed for these boys in blue.

Police officers in Guelph, Ont., have been cleared of wrongdoing after they mistakenly pronounced a woman dead in a hotel room.

The “situation was not handled exactly according to current policy,” but there was “no officer misconduct,” police said.

“I am confident we are unlikely to see a recurrence of this nature,” chief Rob Davis said in a release.

On Jan. 11, police were called to a Days Inn in the south end of the city, located 100 km west of Toronto, after staff found what they thought was a dead woman in one of the rooms.

Officers arrived and also determined the woman was dead. They sealed the room and launched a criminal investigation because it appeared “the victim met her demise as a result of foul play.”

“Evidence indicated that everyone that came in contact with the victim during the initial discovery by motel staff, management and later, by more than one responding officer, genuinely believed the victim to be deceased,” police said Friday.

But when forensic investigators arrived on scene, they discovered the woman had very faint vital signs. She was taken to hospital where she was treated for non-life-threatening injures and released.

Police have not said what injuries the woman sustained or how she was injured.

Police policy says, “officers are not qualified to pronounce death unless certain obvious signs exist.”

Police said in this case the officers made their decision “based on their examination of the scene and the victim’s condition.”

The officers involved have been retrained in how to pronounce deaths, police said.

“For those officers involved, it was a definite eye-opening experience,” the police force said, adding the internal investigation is now closed.

Take a Pill and Dance Better

I myself am a little worried about this recent finding because I am a really bad dancer.

A Montreal man is giving hope to bad dancers everywhere.

Researchers at the University of Montreal have discovered that it’s not his fault he can never dance in time to music. His brain is incapable of recognizing rhythm.

“They hypothesize that the young man’s beat deafness arises from disconnects in a widespread brain network involved in musical beat, rhythm and meter,” according to the report in Science News.

But it doesn’t seem to have any real-world downsides, much like the tone-deafness suffered by many.

“We suspect that beat deafness is specific to music and is quite rare,” Jessica Phillips-Silver, one of the lead researchers, told Science News.

The young man, named Matthieu, is obviously a bad dancer, but also finds it difficult to clap in time at a concert. While bouncing to a rhythm, Matthieu was able to imitate others but “floundered” when asked to do it alone.  I am not sure it really give me hope, it kind of makes me think I have a brain disorder!

School Wake Up Call

Now this is no way to have to wake up in the morning!

Chronically tardy and truant students at a Massachusetts high school are getting a rude awakening — a pre-recorded morning wake-up call from their school principal.

The so-called “robo-calls” that began on Wednesday are aimed at rousting about 500 students, the worst-offending sleepyheads, from bed and getting them to school on time.

“It’s 6:15 and it’s Durfee High School calling,” booms the voice of Principal Paul Marshall of B.M.C. Durfee High School in Fall River, according to Vice Principal Ross Thibault.

Robo-calls are typically used to notify parents of weather-related school delays and cancellations.

Durfee joins other U.S. schools in Massachusetts and Illinois and New York which have taken on the added role of alarm clock to combat high rates of tardiness and absenteeism.

In New York City the wake-up calls feature the voice of former professional basketball star Magic Johnson.

At Durfee High School in Fall River, about 46 miles (74 km) south of Boston, 20 percent of the student body will be getting routine phone calls at home at 6:15 a.m. The school day’s first class begins at 7:45 a.m.

Administrators hope the effort will boost attendance from 88 percent now to at least 95 percent.

“Historically, we have battled attendance problems. We are an urban district and our attendance has always been a concern,” Thibault said.

The school resorted to the calls after failing to improve attendance with punishments like detention or enforced study hours at schools, he added.  Wow 500 regularly tardy students, that is pretty bad!

I Love You Cause You Look Like Me?

This is straight out of a Seinfeld episode!

Years ago, New York writer Christina Bloom left her husband for a man who looked a lot like her. Now she’s launching a dating site that will help other people find their own romantic doppelgangers.

“I was married to my first husband and I fell in love with someone else, and I realized I didn’t have the chemistry with my first husband. I never did,” Bloom told QMI Agency from New York City.

She didn’t notice her similarity to her new partner at first, until friends started telling her they looked like brother and sister.

That got Bloom thinking about couples and chemistry, and she started to notice a trend of romantic partners who look alike.

“I became sort of fixated on it,” she said, noting that wherever she went, she would observe couples and see the trend show up again and again. “I believe that people are attracted to people with similar facial features from themselves.”

The site’s software looks at things like face shape and bone structure, she said, adding it won’t distinguish between people with different skin colours.

There are studies that back Bloom’s romantic theories. A 2009 study out of the University of St. Andrews showed women prefer men with similar facial features to their own. In a 2006 University of Liverpool study, participants asked to rate the attractiveness of a series of pictures gave the highest props to people who resembled them.

Nevertheless, Bloom doesn’t think romance is only skin deep.

“I don’t believe once you have this facial-feature match, you’re perfect for each other. I believe you have the necessary ingredients to go further,” she said.

Facial similarity amounts to chemistry, she said, but you still have to have compatibility.

That’s why Findyourfacemate.com will feature four categories. Facial similarity, style — because “A Versace is not going to be interested in a Brooks Brothers” — compatibility and values.

Bloom said for its first six months, the site will be “open for business but not ready for prime time.”  I don’t know but the love of my life looks nothing like me and I am thankful for that!

Cute Date…..in a Turtle Neck!

You would be pretty happy dating this cutie….until you saw her tattoo!

Stay in a Luxury Hotel for $40?

Not you, ya dumb human.  Your doggie!! Heated pools, massage salons and a-la-carte menus are de rigueur at luxury hotels across the world but in one exclusive Paris establishment the difference is the guests: they have four legs, and enthusiastically wagging tails.

Actuel Dogs bills itself as France’s first luxury hotel for dogs, and founders Devi and Stan Burun, a dog behaviour specialist and lifelong dog-lover, also offer training programmes for unruly hounds and dog walks in the woods.

As well as a dip in the pool, or a massage, guests including Ulysse, a bumptious yellow Labrador sporting a smart red collar, enjoy “doggy jogging,” or simply relax on cushioned couches in their luxury suites.

Their tiled-floor rooms smell fresh and clean and are adorned with framed prints of dogs and equipped with televisions so dogs can watch their choice of dvds.

Owners pay between 26 euros and 35 euros ($36-$48) to leave their lucky hounds for a full day and while the luxury touches appeal to owners, the key difference with traditional kennels is that dogs are not locked up in cages.

“People think we serve the dogs’ food from silver platters but this is not pointless, extravagant luxury,” Devi said, as Clifford, an English bulldog, Cocker Spaniel puppy Floyd, Golden Retriever Cleo and miniature Schnauzer Belle bounded around the hotel’s games room, equipped with a treadmill for training.

Ever Wonder?

Why men’s bathrooms don’t have line ups?

Toronto Man Hits Useless Milestone

Ok, from the archives of ‘who really cares’ and ‘buddy get a life’ we have Canada’s “Pub Guy” Bill Perrie who has a dream job that allows him to travel around the country in search of bars to drink his favorite brew.

Perrie, 53, of Stouffville, Ont., located 50 km northeast of Toronto, was nursing a cold one at one of his favorite watering holes in the city, the Firkin on King, on Thursday to mark his 2,500 bar visit.

He was accompanied by friends and fellow beer aficionados who openly profess their love for suds.

“It has been a labour of love,” said Perrie, who has written seven books on Canadian pubs. “The people is what makes a good pub great.”

Perrie, who has an Internet radio show and is a columnist for Pub Magazine, has been traveling the country since 1999 checking out pubs. He has racked up thousands of kilometers in search of “hidden gems.”

“I did not set out to visit as many pubs as I could,” Perrie said. “I am always on a quest to find great local and hidden gems.”

His interest in pubs date back to his days in Scotland, where “bars were like a community center that people attended everyday after work to catch up with friends.”  Firkin general manager Dan Targonsky said Perrie could have gone to any the GTA’s 2,500 pubs to mark his milestone visit.

OK, maybe I am just a tad jealous of this guys job, aren’t you?

Breast Milk Sundaes Not Allowed

Chilled boob milk at the ice cream parlor is being shut down.  The London council has confiscated supplies of breast milk ice cream from a specialist parlour which launched the new flavour in the British capital last week on concerns the frozen treat may spread viruses.

Westminster Council said it had visited the Icecreamists restaurant in London’s Covent Garden and removed all ice cream containing breast milk for testing after being contacted by members of the public and the Food Standards Agency.

“Selling foodstuffs made from another person’s bodily fluids can lead to viruses being passed on and in this case, potentially hepatitis,” Brian Connell, Westminster Council’s cabinet member for business, said on Tuesday.

He added that the owner had agreed to cease making and serving the ice cream while it was being tested.

Matt O’Connor, founder of the restaurant where the “Baby Gaga” ice cream made from breast milk, Madagascan vanilla pods and lemon zest was launched on Friday, dismissed the concerns, saying they were “complete rubbish.”

He said the breast milk — provided by women who responded to an advert on an online mothers’ forum — had undergone the same “scrupulous” screening procedures as the milk, blood and sperm found in donation banks.

“If the ice cream is not safe, then these mothers pose a serious risk to their babies,” he told Reuters on Tuesday.

Epic Love Fail

Oh well, another relationship bites the dust due to Apple reading his mind!!

Mr. Big Mouth

Francisco Domingo Joaquim has the biggest mouth in the world!

Another Law Suit – Beheading Trauma

This one I can almost agree with, I can’t imagine watching someone lose their head! Two passengers who were on a Greyhound bus when Vince Li killed Winnipegger Tim McLean Jr. have filed a civil lawsuit against the bus company, the RCMP, the federal government and Li himself.

The passengers, Debra Tucker and Kayli Shaw, filed statements of claim in Manitoba Court of Queen’s Bench on Wednesday.

Both passengers are seeking general damages in the amount of $1 million, “nervous shock damages” of $1 million and $1 million in special damages.

Li, a schizophrenic, has been housed at the Selkirk Mental Health facility since March 2009 after being found not criminally responsible for the brutal killing and beheading of McLean aboard a Greyhound bus west of Portage la Prairie, Man., in July 2008.

The plaintiffs, who are both Ontario residents, fault RCMP for failing to remove Li from the bus for over five hours, a period during which he mutilated McLean’s body and displayed his “acts of deprivation” to passengers waiting outside the bus.

The claimants are targeting Greyhound Canada for what they say was the company’s failure to provide safe passage by ensuring adequate security and emergency response training and for failing to appropriately budget for passenger screening devices.

Li is named in the suit for committing the acts that led to the alleged psychological trauma and for failing to seek or continue with psychological treatment or counseling.

The federal government is named in the suit for failing in its duty to regulate safety on a form of ground transportation.

Both passengers say they have not been able to participate in their regular employment, recreational and social activities since the incident. They say they’ve been permanently disabled by the trauma and will continue to suffer loss of income in the future.

Statements of defense have not been filed. The allegations have not been proven in court.

Smallest Girl in the World

Wow, she measures in at only 2 feet tall!  Jyoti Amge is only 17 years old.

A Really Dumb Thief

But are the cops smart enough to actually catch him? Forgetting his resume behind in a stolen car might put a thief’s job hunt in park should it lead police to his whereabouts.

Jason Lapointe says his online sleuthing, using clues left behind in his stolen 2005 Dodge Neon including the possible suspect’s resume, likely offers a lead to a thief.

The 36-year-old woke up Monday to an early-morning phone call from cops saying his car was stolen from outside his northwest home.

They said thieves attracted police attention after someone reported a car stuck in a back alley near the Chinook Centre shopping mall.

Lapointe said he was told the suspects bolted when police showed up.

But in taking off, the thief or thieves left behind some items in his car including a toque, Ozzy Osborne CD, hoodie, T-shirt, stick of Old Spice deodorant and resume.

Convinced the items belonging to what he dubbed “Canada’s dumbest criminal,” he gave them to police.

“I thought this guy is extremely stupid,” he said. “I think (police) have all the information they need … you’re busted.”

But despite giving cops what he deems to be viable evidence found in his impounded car – including a photo believed to be of the individual in the resume found on the Internet – Lapointe said he is disappointed they seemed slow to act.

“I was told ‘Thank you, very much they would be given to the investigating officers when they returned to duty on Saturday,’” he said.

Police spokesman Kevin Brookwell said there was an unfortunate misunderstanding and although the information will ultimately be given to investigating officers, the investigation is not stalled until then.

“In the meantime, we’ve got (other) investigators looking into possible leads,” Brookwell said.

“It’s not like it’s sitting in a room somewhere waiting – we are currently following up on a possible suspect based on articles found in the vehicle turned over to police by the owner.”

He is not aware of any arrests made in the case.

So far, Lapointe is out nearly $1,000 due to the theft – the car’s steering column was destroyed, he was forced to take a day off work, pay for a car rental and told the $106 paid for his wheels to be impounded will only be reimbursed if a culprit is caught and found guilty of the crime. He is also missing iPod accessories and a $200 pair of sunglasses.

As for the resume and its job-garnering potential, Lapointe isn’t optimistic the author who “is just fresh out of high school,” has much experience although, “I think he worked on cars.”

He hasn’t received a reply to messages he e-mailed to the author of the resume. Maybe he is setting up some ex-friend of his, that is why it is taking so long for the cops to catch this person?

Inmate Assaulted by Cow

And he is suing the government for $500k!!!  An inmate working at an Alberta prison farm is suing the Attorney-General of Canada for $500,000 after alleging he was badly injured by an “aggressive and dangerous” cow.

In a statement of claim filed Feb. 7 in Edmonton’s Court of Queen’s Bench, Leslie Roland Johnson says he was incarcerated in Bowden Institution at the time of the alleged Feb. 8, 2009, incident and was toiling as a laborer on the central Alberta penitentiary’s annexed farm.

Johnson alleges he was carrying out his farm duties when he was “aggressed” by the cow, which caused him to fall heavily and suffer serious injuries, including a broken bone in his shoulder.

The convict claims prison officials knew prior to the alleged incident that the cow in question was “aggressive and dangerous,” but says they breached their duties by failing to cull the animal from the herd or to warn him and take measures to protect him from the cow.

Johnson also alleges that he was not given prompt and appropriate medical attention for his injuries and says it was two months later before X-rays were arranged.

During this time, he says prison staff accused him of “faking his injury” and disciplined him for not carrying out his full employment duties.

As a result of his injuries and the delay in obtaining medical treatment, Johnson alleges he has suffered and continues to suffer “excruciating pain” and a loss of range of motion in his right shoulder.

He also says he required surgery and might require a further operation in the future and has been prevented from enjoying activities he had previously enjoyed.

As a federal prisoner, he alleges the Attorney-General of Canada had the obligation to take all reasonable measures to ensure his safety and security and to provide him with reasonable and appropriate medical care.

Johnson is seeking damages, including aggravated and punitive damages, in the amount of $500,000.

A statement of defence has not yet been filed. Statements of claim and statements of defence contain allegations which have not been proven in court.  And I thought the USA had the most stupid lawsuits ever!